Looking back

Today is the 6-year anniversary of the worst day of my life.

May 26th, 2005 marked the end of my life as I knew it. It has become such a clear and drastic turning point in my timeline that it almost feels like the separation of two lives. It wouldn’t be much of a stretch to say that the old me died that day, and it was the beginning of my journey toward rock bottom.

As the years passed, May 26th became almost a time of mourning. I mourned the loss of a life and future that I once had, and dwelled on the severity and seeming irreparability of my situation. I’d become good at staying focused and not dwelling on things I can’t change, but this is one day a year that I gave myself permission to brood—just really sulk if I wanted to.

Now six years later, I still remember that day vividly, but I won’t mourn or sulk. From now on, May 26th will be a day of reflection. A day to look back on how much my life has changed and how much I’ve grown as a person. Even though my life took a sudden turn for the worst, it has slowly built back up to where I can really be happy again. I wasn’t sure this time would ever come, but I’m glad it has.

One thing hasn’t changed though: this day will always be my day for me. A day to disconnect from the world and explore my thoughts and feelings without having to answer to anyone. So that’s exactly what I plan to do today.

“Man’s main task in life is to give birth to himself, to become what he potentially is. The most important product of his effort is his own personality.”
-Erich Fromm

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~ by izikoosumohdum on May 26, 2011.

2 Responses to “Looking back”

  1. Reading this has taken my breath away. Your bravery and perseverance is truly inspiring. I’m so pleased things are looking up for you, I-Bot. XoXO.

  2. “if there is no struggle there can be no progress”
    — fredrick douglass

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